Thank you for sharing yourself, it is a deep gift to share one’s self with others, even on this handheld blue screen. I now feel encouraged and inspired that I might do the same, and take joy in it.
I look forward to the day your first printed work comes out also that I might enjoy it without ever having to pick up my phone or tablet.
Be blessed in your work, Godspeed with those 3 boys, and I hope you win a few more games in the years to come. Thank you for awaking dragons in us.
Brett and I are avid board and card gamers and we keep stats on our games and have found that when we get a new game he wins at first because he's so intuitive, but after a number of games, once I get my bearings strategically, I start winning and he'll never catch up. 😄
I have learned a lot from you as a poet. I can't wait for more of your beautiful work in print.
Love it! At least you know (and he knows) what to expect 😄 For a time we'd started allowing the victor of a game to write their name inside the box of whatever game we'd played. We've slowed a bit, but our kids have picked up on it and it may just stick.
I feel like I knew you guys to be avid gamers. What are some of your favorites? We tend to "discover" games that others have been enjoying for a long time, like Dominion or Seven Wonders, so it's fun to hear what others on the frontlines are playing. Cribbage is our ultimate fallback when nothing else quite hits the spot, as it were.
I also can't go without acknowledging the mutual debt. Your poetry and perspective have shaped me in turn, and I've loved getting to learn from your discipline (can I call it a spiritual discipline?) of letter writing.
Wow, you're right, it IS a spiritual discipline. Thank you for that.
Love that you leave your marks in the box! Sounds like you lean toward card-based games (cribbage is a pillar of our marriage also, LOL), so I'll throw out Splendor, Bohnanza, and Fleet. If you venture into meeples, I recommend Parks, Everdell, and All Creatures Big & Small. But my current top fave overall has to be: Wingspan.
[Edited to add - I see you mentioned Everdell and Wingspan in your reply to Heather, but I'm still gonna leave them on my list because they're great games!]
I can't say I've heard of meeples (had to Google it just now), but I'd completely forgotten Splendor! That's a great one. Adding Bohnanza and Fleet to those that I need to try out now as well.
There seems to be a mutual thing going here for Wingspan. We may just need to have a pre- or post-Habit Retreat game day in TN one of these years with our fellow fans.
Thanks for helping keep us cultured here at the Rogness house 🙂
This was such a delightful read, Tyler. We also love board games and card games. I might need some recommendations! Lately, I enjoy roll-and-write games or card games that I can play quickly over a cup of coffee, while my eleven-year-old prefers games like Everdell that take a bit more time. We own a Narnia version of Stratego that is a lot of fun. We recently purchased Flamecraft after Reagan mentioned that one to me a while ago. Oh, and my favorite comfort food is undoubtedly macaroni and cheese. Thanks again for this lovely post!
Nice! We've really enjoyed deck building games like Dominion, Hero Realms, and Seven Wonders (their Duel version is a great modification for just Beth and I), or Wingspan. I don't think I've ever heard of roll-and-write games. What's one you play? Everdell I have heard of. Looks like fun! Sounds like Beth and I will need to expand our small library to include that and Flamecraft soon. Thanks for the recommendations!
You really can't go wrong with mac & cheese, can you? We have a homemade recipe that I love, but I think there will always be something irresistible about a good ol' box of Kraft.
The one I’ve been playing a lot with my eleven-year-old is called My City Roll & Build (Kosmos). What I like is that everybody plays at the same time (i.e., no waiting on someone else to finish a turn). It’s a “mind on” play experience the entire time. However, it is also a relatively quick game—easy to play for a few minutes while dinner is in the oven. I like those aspects of it.
My eleven-year-old prefers deck building games to roll-and-write, so I might need to check out those you’ve listed here in a year or two! I’ve learned all the terms (roll-and-write, worker placement, deck building, etc.) because my son is an aspiring board game designer! 😄
Got it! I'll have to check that one out. I feel like my oldest would really enjoy games like that. Also, I had to Google Kosmos Games as that sounded really familiar. Turns out we've done a few of their Exit the Game "escape room in a box" packs. We haven't done great, but have had fun. All the more reason My City might have to become part of the rhythm of things around here.
How cool that your son wants to design board games! And now I've benefited from his aspiration as well, and learned a new game category 🙂
I nodded along with “As we’re distanced from that to which we return / I remember.” My reason for writing is probably the distance I feel from so many things and people. I forget to keep in touch with people who I’d miss terribly if they, pardon my bluntness, died. And the world is moving faster around me as I seem to hover. I recently received a fountain pen and it’s been a blessing as I scratch out drafts. Amazing how a simple tool can make words and ideas seem less vacant. On the comfort side, my wife and I splurged on an espresso machine. Not the superb kind, just the kind we could afford, but it’s a thing-that-becomes-larger-than-itself in our daily habits as we enjoy it together. Like you, I hope to publish a book of poetry someday and my weekly habit has gained purpose. I was recently pulled into a workshopping group and my first meeting with them resulted in so much good, constructively-destructive feedback that I’m very encouraged. They’re all fellow believers, most who write poetry differently than I do. It’s a good step out of my own echo chamber – as was reading your post! Thank you for writing it and putting so much of yourself into it.
Thanks for the thoughts, Mark. I can resonate with the struggle with distance, and with the question of how well I've tended relationships. What hits me hardest is wondering how my kids will remember me when the day comes that I'm no longer around. Have you seen the movie "About Time" with Rachel McAdams and Domhnall Gleeson? I'd recommend a watch if you haven't. One of my all-time favorites, and it seems on topic.
The fountain pen--what a neat gift! And I agree: amazing the different effects our tools can have. While I was previously more scattered in methodology, I've more and more often been starting my work in ink before it becomes digitized, and it's made a huge difference in my ability (not to mention my desire to) put flesh on an idea. I love bringing something in for a landing, but there's a raw excitement for me when the poem or the essay is still in my little journal, toddling about and trying to get its feet. How have you seen your own writing practices change over time? Has the fountain pen had anything to do with any change?
Love that you guys got an espresso machine. I use a stovetop espresso maker all the time (I felt very cultured to start using that, let me tell you), but that feels a bit like showing off a paper airplane when you've just told me you built your own cessna. So cool to find those things in life that become larger than themselves. Who makes a better cup--you or your wife?
Man, it's good to find poets who write differently than you. I've learned so much from those I've been workshopping with, and it's not only made me a better writer, but I'd like to think it's made me a better person too. I love to hear that you've been pulled into a group, and I'm super excited to hear about your progress on your book. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the movie recommendation! I haven't seen it, so I'll add it to the short list and maybe pull it into a date night. Our kids are in their teens now, so that's the kind of thing that could take months to happen since they stay up later. It's all about intentions, though. And that speaks to your wondering about how your kids will remember you. What is your feeling on that? If you're anything like me, you can probably instantly think of things you hope they remember ... generously.
Interesting question about how my writing practices have changed. When I first started using notebooks with a regular ballpoint pen, my inclination was towards pristine writing with no mistakes. This is probably a personal failing, and I did evolve into more creative chaos over time. The same thing almost happened when I started using the fountain pen, but it was a conscious decision to allow for all kinds of crossing out and overwriting and arrows and ... you get the picture. Anything to serve the process of shaping a lump of clay, but the tool itself reminds me of the latent beauty in what I'm doing. For that, I'm grateful and I do think the pen has allowed me to add layers of meaning more intentionally. What is your writing process like? What tools do you use?
What stovetop espresso maker do you use? We enjoy using a moka pot at times and the 9Barista espresso maker looks super interesting. At this point, my wife probably makes more consistent espresso but I've made the best cup. Inconsistent brilliance vs. reliability, story of our life together.
Thanks for your encouragement! Are you part of a writing group?
Good question, thanks for that. I think more than anything else I want my kids to remember that, in the midst of a distracted world, their dad looked them in the eyes, accepted them completely, and took the time to be with them in their own loves and lives.
It sounds like we had a similar experience with physically writing work down. When I started writing in earnest, I was set on writing everything down in pen and couldn't bear to make any mistakes. It was slow and frustrating work fighting my own imperfections, and really my own growth. I realized then I was able to get more of my thoughts out quicker and feel less pressure when typing them out. The pendulum swung toward the digital. Now I'm feeling a much better balance for myself: much of my work starts with a ballpoint pen and pocket journal, and may even take on most of its shape there before it makes the jump to the writing system I built for myself in Notion, where I do what polishing I can.
The espresso maker is a simple, one-cup Bialetti. That 9Barista does look like something else... And I appreciate the honesty😆Stick with that inconsistent brilliance.
Yes--I've been a part of Jonathan Rogers' The Habit membership for a few years running now, and there's a group of us who'll workshop poetry online throughout the month, then meet over Zoom to discuss feedback and hear each other read live. It's been a great, great group of people to, as you said, give and receive constructively destructive feedback with.
Hi! Nice to "meet" you - your introduction to yourself was very interesting! :D Love the dance break part.
I'm Sierra *insert wave*, and I write poetry - my why? Mainly to process things that can't be processed any other way. When journaling, music, art, and even prayer seem to fail me, God gives me a waterway for my soul to flow on.
I'm trying to cultivate a habit of generosity and simplification this year, along with learning how to line dance. :)
I too recently discovered tea wasn't so bad either.... with a LOT of honey and cream. ;)
I hope to get a new job this year, and maybe, just maybe, meet someone.
That's about it. Thanks for starting conversation! *bows and leaves*
👋 Hey there! Glad to hear the dance breaking didn't keep you from reading 🙂
"When [all else] fails, God gives me a waterway for my soul to flow on." What a great way to phrase it, and so true. I'm right there with you on that. Sometimes there really isn't another way to process things, is there? Who are you reading right now, and who is most inspiring or influencing your writing these days? It's fun to see how waterways might spill into each other.
Generosity and simplification. I love that. To glaze over generosity might be to assume abundance, but to simplify *and* cultivate generosity--that sounds like a true practice. My wife and I are wanting this year to be about tending to what we have and communing more with those around us. I'm going to be thinking on how your pairing of generosity and simplification can help us in this.
Tea! What's your go-to steep? I tend toward chais and chamomile, but am a sucker for a good London Fog any day.
I hope the searching goes well! Job hunting has got to be one of the most spiritually exhausting things there is, right behind sitting in traffic. Personal opinion, obviously.
Yes, so true... To be honest I'd love some suggestions! I grew up on Robert Louis Stevenson and Robert Frost, but then really began experimenting and just writing on my own. It's really been on my to-do list to purchase some poetry books and start cultivating my palette more. I'm starting a list of suggestions by you and others on here, and getting ready to start researching. Gerard Manley Hopkins and Malcolm Guite have me most interested - just gotta pick which collections!
Thank you! Yeah I'm excited about where that journey will take me. I'm so honored it can be of some inspiration to you!
Ooh, loving Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea, (and it's organic)!
Thank you! Yeah... you got that one right lol. :,D
Taking note of that Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea 👍
I'm sure there are other great collections for each poet, but I just recently read through "The Gospel in Gerard Manley Hopkins" by Margaret R. Ellsberg, which is a great collection and commentary on (many) selected poems, letters, and sermons of his. Guite's "The Word in the Wilderness" was a helpful exposition for me of many different poetic voices. You didn't mention him, but I also have to recommend Carys Walsh's "Frequencies of God: Walking through Advent with R. S. Thomas." I'll be curious to hear which collections you end up with and enjoy, whether any of these or others!
Thank you for sharing and the encouragement to share. We have overflowing bookcases of games, but when it's just my husband and I, we usually resort to cribbage. I got myself used to tea without sugar, so now tea with honey feels very indulgent and I love it. I had started texting prayers a few years ago to friends and family and my mom asked where I was getting them from. It was just me, mom. She wanted me to send them to her in a format she could access to use to send to her friends. I thought maybe more people would enjoy/get something out of them, so I started a substack. I realized that they really didn't translate to this space, because they were personal and with redacting names, it was just weird. So, I stopped posting. Awhile later, I wanted to start a practice of sitting with a piece of art and seeing what came to me. Substack was a good place for me to store/keep track of my practice and originally I was thinking maybe other people would want to share what came to them as well. Turns out what comes to me most often is poetry. I had also wanted to record Emily Dickinson poems during the pandemic and it didn't work out, so I added that as well. And I write out and record a Sunday Blessing that is a more general version of my text prayers. I didn't really think of myself as a writer, but I guess it might be happening anyway. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Cribbage is an excellent fallback. I don't know how you ever got used to tea without sugar, but props to you! You're right: honey does feel pretty indulgent, but is so, so good.
It's fun to hear how the writing journey evolved for you in this space! Sounds like a really neat collection of the different ways you've been sitting with and reflecting on faith and art. I love it. If I can ask, what would you say has been the biggest challenge for you as you learn to see yourself as a writer? That alone has been challenging for me, but I've found a lot of encouragement in knowing imposter syndrome is more common than a cold.
Probably the biggest challenge for me is claiming it in my different real-life spaces. I know my Substack is public, but it feels like a secret space with just a handful of people I know in real life subscribing. I don't even talk about it with them even though I know they are faithful readers of my work (such kind people). They don't bring it up when I see them either. I only talk about what I have written sometimes with my husband (my ultimate safe space). When I chose the uncreative name of my Substack, I purposefully didn't use my last name because it's so unique, people would be able to find me. I finally added it to the bottom where the copyright is, because that felt important. I think I’m developing through practice, and I know some of my stuff resonates with people. That seems like enough for now.
I resonate--it can definitely feel like separate identity sometimes. So glad to hear you're seeing the growth in practice and finding that to be enough! I find encouragement in that. Thank you.
Lovely to get a little more behind-the-scenes on you, Tyler! And as those various poets have kept your love of poetry flowing, you and other poetic Habitúes have deepened my appreciation for good poetry (I can’t really say “love” in general—once in a while, yes—but I do appreciate it and see it’s value). Keep writing!
Thanks for this great read that combines both humor and depth— and a whole lot of honesty. I loved the endearing glimpse into your family life, too.
I may have to try out the EDM-while-writing, though I don’t know if any words would make it onto the page… Dancing was one part of the magic that drew my husband and I together when we met in college; in fact, we are going on a date tonight to a 90’s music video dance party! 😆
On a poetry note, I read the collected works of R.S. Thomas last year and am a big fan. I also just finished a marvelous collection edited by Christian Wiman called “Joy: 100 poems”. It is SO rich. From there I purchased “My Bright Abyss” which I look forward to reading soon. My “focus poet” companion for this year is Rainer Maria Rilke. I’m registered for a class taught by one of his translators, Mark Burrows, in March through Poets Corner, and I’m working through Burrow’s translation of Rilke’s “Sonnets to Orpheus” right now.
Lastly, I am with our friends here in being so thrilled to one day own your poets and essays in print. You have an amazing gift with words that consistently enriches and inspires me!
Oh, yeah, I'm not sure how EDM while writing would go. Great for coding; maybe not so much for more poetic endeavors 😄 After writing this post I actually rediscovered Ray LaMontagne. That's probably more the "I'm writing something that's going to blow your socks off" kind of music, if you ask me. Fun that dancing drew you and your husband together! Also, a 90's music video dance party sounds like an absolute blast.
I've actually only been through Carys Walsh's "Frequencies of God," an Advent collection of Thomas' poems. I'll have to follow your lead now and try out a more complete collection of his work. There's so much great thought going on in his words.
"My Bright Abyss" is on my intangible "to-be-acquired" list, and it sounds like "Joy" will have to go there as well. My introduction to Wiman has been through "Zero at the Bone: Fifty Entries Against Despair." I'm moving incredibly slowly through it, but only because there's SO MUCH GOOD to chew on. What a mind. Thanks for the recommendation of Rilke and Burrows as well!
Thanks also for your generous words. As with Reagan, I have to acknowledge a mutual debt to you for your own work, which continually challenges me in turn. Of the authors you've mentioned (or haven't), is there one you'd say has inspired your voice the most?
Such a good and interesting question. To be honest, I’m really not sure who has inspired my voice most, and I feel as though I’m very much developing and discovering it (and fully expecting it to change along with me). It’s likely that my family’s speech has had more impact than I realize. Many of my family members are quite hilarious — wit and puns and playing with language have been standard fare since language first funneled into my ears. Ive always been an alliterative junkie, even in conversations. In fact, my maiden name is Lechner, and my brothers are Logan and Landon, so even my name chimed with itself. Sometimes I can’t even follow my vision for a poem because my brain is too busy finding alliteration/consonance! I’ve wondered lately too if the Doctor himself (Seuss, that is) isn’t to blame for my dactylic rhythmic tendencies. Who knows?
Since I only came to love poetry here in my 30s, I have begun a balance of reading as widely and as deeply as I can to supply myself the feast of poetry that’s been spread through time and various cultures. I seek out a wide variety of voices and have begun transcribing poems I find particularly resonant, collecting them in notebooks. I do this for 2 main reasons: 1. so I don’t have to hunt them down later (where is that beautiful poem that moved me so?); and 2. so I can begin to make something of a study of what poetic sensibilities/aesthetics appeal to me and why, while leaving room for plenty of mystery for how beauty bursts in upon a soul.
P.S. The dance party was in fact a blast, and I do think my propensity to internal rhyme must be owing in part to the rhymes of 90’s/early 2000’s hip hop/rap that comprised about half of my musical diet in my teen years. 😆
Nice! That'll do it. I remember one Christmas (mid-90's?), to my parent's chagrin getting an Nsync CD from an aunt and uncle. I can remember having that on repeat pretty consistently with the Newsboys' "Shine" album. What a combo. What a time.
Ooh... I like that idea of transcribing poems that stand out to you. I've done that more with quotes that reach out and slap me in the face, but I may have to steal from you and begin writing down whole poems. I can see that being a really helpful practice for understanding how and why it is the poem works its magic. *Hat tip* Thanks for the idea.
If anyone was ever predisposed to alliteration, it seems like it would be you. And your brothers. I know for myself, after reading GMH I have to watch to make sure I'm not going off the alliterative deep end. I've appreciated how you balance it so well in your own work. Neat that you're able to see how your family's language has influenced your writing so much!
I’m having to exercise a lot of restraint now at the mention of Nsync. I was obsessed. It wasn’t until I was at a concert in 8th grade that it really sunk in that Justin Timberlake didn’t know I existed…and never would…and that I needed to tell that dream “bye bye bye.” 🤣 I literally remember de-throning my room little by little, peeling off posters of his face.
Anyway, thanks for this great conversation. Happy to share the “transcribing whole poems tip”. (I may or may not be putting some honey and cinnamon in my coffee, so thank you for that one.)
Tyler, I enjoyed reading this behind the scenes, getting to know you post. Thank you for sort of explaining what your job is, the title business analyst has always been a little amorphous to me...
One line in your post really resonated with me, about the inspiration that other poets offer, "They are guides and walking sticks, not consumables."
"They" being poets like Malcolm Guite, GM Hopkins, and the others you mentioned.
I've been writing for a very long time and first was published in the 1980s when we were raising our kids in a small town in California. I was all education articles, letters to the editor and so on.
My journey into poetry in earnest began tanks to meeting Luci Shaw in 2018 and Malcolm later on that year. In the years I have left to write, they helped me solidify my choice to focus on being more intentional in my. Inspiration comes from so many places. Your wife sounds delightful and you said she nudged you towards this writing journey, but I'm still puzzled. Did she help you with a name? I'm guessing Awaking Dragons refers to the dragon in Lord of the Ring s. Yes?
Hey Jody! Thanks so much for reading. How neat that you had the opportunity meet both Luci Shaw and Malcolm Guite! Would you say meeting them propelled you in a new direction with your words or solidified a path you were already making your way down?
Beth was definitely a sounding board when it came to naming this here newsletter. It went through a number of iterations before finally becoming what it is now. And yes, Awaking Dragons is in part a reference to Tolkien's Smaug, but is also a stand-in for all those things which are beyond us, mysterious to us, perhaps even a bit dangerous for our preconceived notions about how to live this life, but which ultimately make us more than we were before we engaged them, much as Bilbo after his journeys. If you're interested, I write a bit more about this here...
Oh yes, Tyler. To answer your first question, Malcolm provided the stamp on my a poetry visa needed to confirm my desires to pursue that path, and Luci provided the in-person inspiration and encouragement to dive in.
And thank you for the explanation on your Substack naming. I'm off to read a bit more...
What a line. For me, distance has become an ache I have to constantly bring back to God. As an immigrant whose family and culture is elsewhere, I feel this ache of distance constantly. I try to bridge it in anyway that I can—FaceTime calls, making certain meals, looking at pictures, writing poems that talk to that ache. But to recall that the ache of distance is a gift? That’s tough!! But possible.
Thank you, Tyler, for the encouragement to readjust my lenses. 🙌🏼
Oh, great perspective, Rosa. The "distancing" I had in mind when writing this was more the stepping back: the bird's-eye view which allows us to consider our lives and not so much the actual separation. But your experience puts a spin on this I hadn't quite intended myself, and your willingness to consider how that homeward ache might turn out to be a gift encourages me to do the same. Thanks for reading and sharing that perspective!
Tyler, thanks for this glimpse into the world behind the words. My husband and I are also very competitive... which is why we don't play games together anymore! I remember being out for blood with Scrabble in our dating days. He's not a writer, but an excellent wordsmith, and it took all my skill to best him. I've just discovered the delight of Bananagrams, but I play that with the church youth group, and it's pretty cutthroat!
I think my writing began with a love of the words themselves, a girlish wish to become Jo March, and a need to process thoughts and ideas. The page is a necessary extension of my thought life!
It was silly poems that had my heart first. Lewis Caroll (Jabberwocky), Dennis Lee (Alligator Pie), AA Milne (Disobedience). Then dramatic poems--which probably had something to do with my constant rewatching of the 1980s Anne of Green Gables movies. The poems that Curdie flung at the goblins in The Princess and the Goblin always stuck with me too as a powerful image of what words could do.
Poetry became a regular part of my life again when I had kids and then started homeschooling. I got to relive the delight of those childhood poems. And we've kept on reading classic poets ever since, almost daily. But I think it was Malcolm Guite who really spurred the renaissance of poetry in my spiritual life. He introduced me to Herbert, and then it was all over.
I write to make sense of things, to seek the kingdom. And because I long to create something beautiful to offer back to God. My dream is also a book to hold in my hands. I've been working on one for a few years, but it keeps shape shifting. I look forward to yours when it makes its way to printed page!!
I can resonate with the competitiveness. I don't think I've ever been more antagonistic toward my siblings than when we were playing Risk as kids.
I love Bananagrams! Though I don't think I've ever played a game and later described it as cutthroat 😆 Sounds like a fun group to play with.
"The page is a necessary extension of my thought life!" -- hear, hear to that. Fun to hear about your own early nudgings into writing, and those poems which became the soil for others to take root in. You have me thinking it's due time I read MacDonald's Princess and Goblin books again. I've read a little of Herbert (also thanks to Guite), but not extensively. What are some of your favorite poems of his?
I've appreciated the perspective you continually offer us through Small Wonder. Excited to hold this book you've been working on in my hands when the time comes!
Have you read "The Elixir" by Herbert? That's a good one. I love "Easter" from The Temple (one day I need to write about that one). Also try "A Sonnet, to his mother as a new year's gift from Cambridge," which speaks to the nature of poetry. "Sure, Lord, there is enough in thee to dry Oceans of ink..."
Yes, I've enjoyed "The Elixir" and "Easter" thanks to Malcolm Guite's compilation of them in different volumes, but hadn't heard of the third. I think you may have picked out my favorite line, too. Thanks for pointing me to that one!
Tyler, what a treat to learn a little more about you! Thank you so much for your rich contributions to our writing community.
I seem to be the designated loser of just about every game I have played and am not at all competitive (which of those came first, I cannot say), but like you, can hardly keep myself off the dance floor. This may be unfortunate for spectators, but when there’s something worth celebrating who can rightly refrain from the dance?
Thank you for sharing yourself, it is a deep gift to share one’s self with others, even on this handheld blue screen. I now feel encouraged and inspired that I might do the same, and take joy in it.
I look forward to the day your first printed work comes out also that I might enjoy it without ever having to pick up my phone or tablet.
Be blessed in your work, Godspeed with those 3 boys, and I hope you win a few more games in the years to come. Thank you for awaking dragons in us.
It’s good to know I’ll be entering my next cribbage match with your cheers at my back 😄
Thanks so much for this, Jason. I appreciate it and am encouraged in turn to read this.
Love this glimpse into your life. Such a beautiful post.
Brett and I are avid board and card gamers and we keep stats on our games and have found that when we get a new game he wins at first because he's so intuitive, but after a number of games, once I get my bearings strategically, I start winning and he'll never catch up. 😄
I have learned a lot from you as a poet. I can't wait for more of your beautiful work in print.
Love it! At least you know (and he knows) what to expect 😄 For a time we'd started allowing the victor of a game to write their name inside the box of whatever game we'd played. We've slowed a bit, but our kids have picked up on it and it may just stick.
I feel like I knew you guys to be avid gamers. What are some of your favorites? We tend to "discover" games that others have been enjoying for a long time, like Dominion or Seven Wonders, so it's fun to hear what others on the frontlines are playing. Cribbage is our ultimate fallback when nothing else quite hits the spot, as it were.
I also can't go without acknowledging the mutual debt. Your poetry and perspective have shaped me in turn, and I've loved getting to learn from your discipline (can I call it a spiritual discipline?) of letter writing.
Wow, you're right, it IS a spiritual discipline. Thank you for that.
Love that you leave your marks in the box! Sounds like you lean toward card-based games (cribbage is a pillar of our marriage also, LOL), so I'll throw out Splendor, Bohnanza, and Fleet. If you venture into meeples, I recommend Parks, Everdell, and All Creatures Big & Small. But my current top fave overall has to be: Wingspan.
[Edited to add - I see you mentioned Everdell and Wingspan in your reply to Heather, but I'm still gonna leave them on my list because they're great games!]
I can't say I've heard of meeples (had to Google it just now), but I'd completely forgotten Splendor! That's a great one. Adding Bohnanza and Fleet to those that I need to try out now as well.
There seems to be a mutual thing going here for Wingspan. We may just need to have a pre- or post-Habit Retreat game day in TN one of these years with our fellow fans.
Thanks for helping keep us cultured here at the Rogness house 🙂
This was such a delightful read, Tyler. We also love board games and card games. I might need some recommendations! Lately, I enjoy roll-and-write games or card games that I can play quickly over a cup of coffee, while my eleven-year-old prefers games like Everdell that take a bit more time. We own a Narnia version of Stratego that is a lot of fun. We recently purchased Flamecraft after Reagan mentioned that one to me a while ago. Oh, and my favorite comfort food is undoubtedly macaroni and cheese. Thanks again for this lovely post!
Nice! We've really enjoyed deck building games like Dominion, Hero Realms, and Seven Wonders (their Duel version is a great modification for just Beth and I), or Wingspan. I don't think I've ever heard of roll-and-write games. What's one you play? Everdell I have heard of. Looks like fun! Sounds like Beth and I will need to expand our small library to include that and Flamecraft soon. Thanks for the recommendations!
You really can't go wrong with mac & cheese, can you? We have a homemade recipe that I love, but I think there will always be something irresistible about a good ol' box of Kraft.
The one I’ve been playing a lot with my eleven-year-old is called My City Roll & Build (Kosmos). What I like is that everybody plays at the same time (i.e., no waiting on someone else to finish a turn). It’s a “mind on” play experience the entire time. However, it is also a relatively quick game—easy to play for a few minutes while dinner is in the oven. I like those aspects of it.
My eleven-year-old prefers deck building games to roll-and-write, so I might need to check out those you’ve listed here in a year or two! I’ve learned all the terms (roll-and-write, worker placement, deck building, etc.) because my son is an aspiring board game designer! 😄
Got it! I'll have to check that one out. I feel like my oldest would really enjoy games like that. Also, I had to Google Kosmos Games as that sounded really familiar. Turns out we've done a few of their Exit the Game "escape room in a box" packs. We haven't done great, but have had fun. All the more reason My City might have to become part of the rhythm of things around here.
How cool that your son wants to design board games! And now I've benefited from his aspiration as well, and learned a new game category 🙂
I nodded along with “As we’re distanced from that to which we return / I remember.” My reason for writing is probably the distance I feel from so many things and people. I forget to keep in touch with people who I’d miss terribly if they, pardon my bluntness, died. And the world is moving faster around me as I seem to hover. I recently received a fountain pen and it’s been a blessing as I scratch out drafts. Amazing how a simple tool can make words and ideas seem less vacant. On the comfort side, my wife and I splurged on an espresso machine. Not the superb kind, just the kind we could afford, but it’s a thing-that-becomes-larger-than-itself in our daily habits as we enjoy it together. Like you, I hope to publish a book of poetry someday and my weekly habit has gained purpose. I was recently pulled into a workshopping group and my first meeting with them resulted in so much good, constructively-destructive feedback that I’m very encouraged. They’re all fellow believers, most who write poetry differently than I do. It’s a good step out of my own echo chamber – as was reading your post! Thank you for writing it and putting so much of yourself into it.
Thanks for the thoughts, Mark. I can resonate with the struggle with distance, and with the question of how well I've tended relationships. What hits me hardest is wondering how my kids will remember me when the day comes that I'm no longer around. Have you seen the movie "About Time" with Rachel McAdams and Domhnall Gleeson? I'd recommend a watch if you haven't. One of my all-time favorites, and it seems on topic.
The fountain pen--what a neat gift! And I agree: amazing the different effects our tools can have. While I was previously more scattered in methodology, I've more and more often been starting my work in ink before it becomes digitized, and it's made a huge difference in my ability (not to mention my desire to) put flesh on an idea. I love bringing something in for a landing, but there's a raw excitement for me when the poem or the essay is still in my little journal, toddling about and trying to get its feet. How have you seen your own writing practices change over time? Has the fountain pen had anything to do with any change?
Love that you guys got an espresso machine. I use a stovetop espresso maker all the time (I felt very cultured to start using that, let me tell you), but that feels a bit like showing off a paper airplane when you've just told me you built your own cessna. So cool to find those things in life that become larger than themselves. Who makes a better cup--you or your wife?
Man, it's good to find poets who write differently than you. I've learned so much from those I've been workshopping with, and it's not only made me a better writer, but I'd like to think it's made me a better person too. I love to hear that you've been pulled into a group, and I'm super excited to hear about your progress on your book. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the movie recommendation! I haven't seen it, so I'll add it to the short list and maybe pull it into a date night. Our kids are in their teens now, so that's the kind of thing that could take months to happen since they stay up later. It's all about intentions, though. And that speaks to your wondering about how your kids will remember you. What is your feeling on that? If you're anything like me, you can probably instantly think of things you hope they remember ... generously.
Interesting question about how my writing practices have changed. When I first started using notebooks with a regular ballpoint pen, my inclination was towards pristine writing with no mistakes. This is probably a personal failing, and I did evolve into more creative chaos over time. The same thing almost happened when I started using the fountain pen, but it was a conscious decision to allow for all kinds of crossing out and overwriting and arrows and ... you get the picture. Anything to serve the process of shaping a lump of clay, but the tool itself reminds me of the latent beauty in what I'm doing. For that, I'm grateful and I do think the pen has allowed me to add layers of meaning more intentionally. What is your writing process like? What tools do you use?
What stovetop espresso maker do you use? We enjoy using a moka pot at times and the 9Barista espresso maker looks super interesting. At this point, my wife probably makes more consistent espresso but I've made the best cup. Inconsistent brilliance vs. reliability, story of our life together.
Thanks for your encouragement! Are you part of a writing group?
Hope you enjoy the movie!
Good question, thanks for that. I think more than anything else I want my kids to remember that, in the midst of a distracted world, their dad looked them in the eyes, accepted them completely, and took the time to be with them in their own loves and lives.
It sounds like we had a similar experience with physically writing work down. When I started writing in earnest, I was set on writing everything down in pen and couldn't bear to make any mistakes. It was slow and frustrating work fighting my own imperfections, and really my own growth. I realized then I was able to get more of my thoughts out quicker and feel less pressure when typing them out. The pendulum swung toward the digital. Now I'm feeling a much better balance for myself: much of my work starts with a ballpoint pen and pocket journal, and may even take on most of its shape there before it makes the jump to the writing system I built for myself in Notion, where I do what polishing I can.
The espresso maker is a simple, one-cup Bialetti. That 9Barista does look like something else... And I appreciate the honesty😆Stick with that inconsistent brilliance.
Yes--I've been a part of Jonathan Rogers' The Habit membership for a few years running now, and there's a group of us who'll workshop poetry online throughout the month, then meet over Zoom to discuss feedback and hear each other read live. It's been a great, great group of people to, as you said, give and receive constructively destructive feedback with.
Hi! Nice to "meet" you - your introduction to yourself was very interesting! :D Love the dance break part.
I'm Sierra *insert wave*, and I write poetry - my why? Mainly to process things that can't be processed any other way. When journaling, music, art, and even prayer seem to fail me, God gives me a waterway for my soul to flow on.
I'm trying to cultivate a habit of generosity and simplification this year, along with learning how to line dance. :)
I too recently discovered tea wasn't so bad either.... with a LOT of honey and cream. ;)
I hope to get a new job this year, and maybe, just maybe, meet someone.
That's about it. Thanks for starting conversation! *bows and leaves*
👋 Hey there! Glad to hear the dance breaking didn't keep you from reading 🙂
"When [all else] fails, God gives me a waterway for my soul to flow on." What a great way to phrase it, and so true. I'm right there with you on that. Sometimes there really isn't another way to process things, is there? Who are you reading right now, and who is most inspiring or influencing your writing these days? It's fun to see how waterways might spill into each other.
Generosity and simplification. I love that. To glaze over generosity might be to assume abundance, but to simplify *and* cultivate generosity--that sounds like a true practice. My wife and I are wanting this year to be about tending to what we have and communing more with those around us. I'm going to be thinking on how your pairing of generosity and simplification can help us in this.
Tea! What's your go-to steep? I tend toward chais and chamomile, but am a sucker for a good London Fog any day.
I hope the searching goes well! Job hunting has got to be one of the most spiritually exhausting things there is, right behind sitting in traffic. Personal opinion, obviously.
Haha, nah, not a big. ;)
Yes, so true... To be honest I'd love some suggestions! I grew up on Robert Louis Stevenson and Robert Frost, but then really began experimenting and just writing on my own. It's really been on my to-do list to purchase some poetry books and start cultivating my palette more. I'm starting a list of suggestions by you and others on here, and getting ready to start researching. Gerard Manley Hopkins and Malcolm Guite have me most interested - just gotta pick which collections!
Thank you! Yeah I'm excited about where that journey will take me. I'm so honored it can be of some inspiration to you!
Ooh, loving Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea, (and it's organic)!
Thank you! Yeah... you got that one right lol. :,D
Taking note of that Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea 👍
I'm sure there are other great collections for each poet, but I just recently read through "The Gospel in Gerard Manley Hopkins" by Margaret R. Ellsberg, which is a great collection and commentary on (many) selected poems, letters, and sermons of his. Guite's "The Word in the Wilderness" was a helpful exposition for me of many different poetic voices. You didn't mention him, but I also have to recommend Carys Walsh's "Frequencies of God: Walking through Advent with R. S. Thomas." I'll be curious to hear which collections you end up with and enjoy, whether any of these or others!
Oh ok! Thank you! I'll definitely have to check those out!
Thank you for sharing and the encouragement to share. We have overflowing bookcases of games, but when it's just my husband and I, we usually resort to cribbage. I got myself used to tea without sugar, so now tea with honey feels very indulgent and I love it. I had started texting prayers a few years ago to friends and family and my mom asked where I was getting them from. It was just me, mom. She wanted me to send them to her in a format she could access to use to send to her friends. I thought maybe more people would enjoy/get something out of them, so I started a substack. I realized that they really didn't translate to this space, because they were personal and with redacting names, it was just weird. So, I stopped posting. Awhile later, I wanted to start a practice of sitting with a piece of art and seeing what came to me. Substack was a good place for me to store/keep track of my practice and originally I was thinking maybe other people would want to share what came to them as well. Turns out what comes to me most often is poetry. I had also wanted to record Emily Dickinson poems during the pandemic and it didn't work out, so I added that as well. And I write out and record a Sunday Blessing that is a more general version of my text prayers. I didn't really think of myself as a writer, but I guess it might be happening anyway. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Cribbage is an excellent fallback. I don't know how you ever got used to tea without sugar, but props to you! You're right: honey does feel pretty indulgent, but is so, so good.
It's fun to hear how the writing journey evolved for you in this space! Sounds like a really neat collection of the different ways you've been sitting with and reflecting on faith and art. I love it. If I can ask, what would you say has been the biggest challenge for you as you learn to see yourself as a writer? That alone has been challenging for me, but I've found a lot of encouragement in knowing imposter syndrome is more common than a cold.
Probably the biggest challenge for me is claiming it in my different real-life spaces. I know my Substack is public, but it feels like a secret space with just a handful of people I know in real life subscribing. I don't even talk about it with them even though I know they are faithful readers of my work (such kind people). They don't bring it up when I see them either. I only talk about what I have written sometimes with my husband (my ultimate safe space). When I chose the uncreative name of my Substack, I purposefully didn't use my last name because it's so unique, people would be able to find me. I finally added it to the bottom where the copyright is, because that felt important. I think I’m developing through practice, and I know some of my stuff resonates with people. That seems like enough for now.
I resonate--it can definitely feel like separate identity sometimes. So glad to hear you're seeing the growth in practice and finding that to be enough! I find encouragement in that. Thank you.
Lovely to get a little more behind-the-scenes on you, Tyler! And as those various poets have kept your love of poetry flowing, you and other poetic Habitúes have deepened my appreciation for good poetry (I can’t really say “love” in general—once in a while, yes—but I do appreciate it and see it’s value). Keep writing!
Thanks so much for reading, Loren, and for the kind words!
Thanks for this great read that combines both humor and depth— and a whole lot of honesty. I loved the endearing glimpse into your family life, too.
I may have to try out the EDM-while-writing, though I don’t know if any words would make it onto the page… Dancing was one part of the magic that drew my husband and I together when we met in college; in fact, we are going on a date tonight to a 90’s music video dance party! 😆
On a poetry note, I read the collected works of R.S. Thomas last year and am a big fan. I also just finished a marvelous collection edited by Christian Wiman called “Joy: 100 poems”. It is SO rich. From there I purchased “My Bright Abyss” which I look forward to reading soon. My “focus poet” companion for this year is Rainer Maria Rilke. I’m registered for a class taught by one of his translators, Mark Burrows, in March through Poets Corner, and I’m working through Burrow’s translation of Rilke’s “Sonnets to Orpheus” right now.
Lastly, I am with our friends here in being so thrilled to one day own your poets and essays in print. You have an amazing gift with words that consistently enriches and inspires me!
Oh, yeah, I'm not sure how EDM while writing would go. Great for coding; maybe not so much for more poetic endeavors 😄 After writing this post I actually rediscovered Ray LaMontagne. That's probably more the "I'm writing something that's going to blow your socks off" kind of music, if you ask me. Fun that dancing drew you and your husband together! Also, a 90's music video dance party sounds like an absolute blast.
I've actually only been through Carys Walsh's "Frequencies of God," an Advent collection of Thomas' poems. I'll have to follow your lead now and try out a more complete collection of his work. There's so much great thought going on in his words.
"My Bright Abyss" is on my intangible "to-be-acquired" list, and it sounds like "Joy" will have to go there as well. My introduction to Wiman has been through "Zero at the Bone: Fifty Entries Against Despair." I'm moving incredibly slowly through it, but only because there's SO MUCH GOOD to chew on. What a mind. Thanks for the recommendation of Rilke and Burrows as well!
Thanks also for your generous words. As with Reagan, I have to acknowledge a mutual debt to you for your own work, which continually challenges me in turn. Of the authors you've mentioned (or haven't), is there one you'd say has inspired your voice the most?
Such a good and interesting question. To be honest, I’m really not sure who has inspired my voice most, and I feel as though I’m very much developing and discovering it (and fully expecting it to change along with me). It’s likely that my family’s speech has had more impact than I realize. Many of my family members are quite hilarious — wit and puns and playing with language have been standard fare since language first funneled into my ears. Ive always been an alliterative junkie, even in conversations. In fact, my maiden name is Lechner, and my brothers are Logan and Landon, so even my name chimed with itself. Sometimes I can’t even follow my vision for a poem because my brain is too busy finding alliteration/consonance! I’ve wondered lately too if the Doctor himself (Seuss, that is) isn’t to blame for my dactylic rhythmic tendencies. Who knows?
Since I only came to love poetry here in my 30s, I have begun a balance of reading as widely and as deeply as I can to supply myself the feast of poetry that’s been spread through time and various cultures. I seek out a wide variety of voices and have begun transcribing poems I find particularly resonant, collecting them in notebooks. I do this for 2 main reasons: 1. so I don’t have to hunt them down later (where is that beautiful poem that moved me so?); and 2. so I can begin to make something of a study of what poetic sensibilities/aesthetics appeal to me and why, while leaving room for plenty of mystery for how beauty bursts in upon a soul.
P.S. The dance party was in fact a blast, and I do think my propensity to internal rhyme must be owing in part to the rhymes of 90’s/early 2000’s hip hop/rap that comprised about half of my musical diet in my teen years. 😆
Nice! That'll do it. I remember one Christmas (mid-90's?), to my parent's chagrin getting an Nsync CD from an aunt and uncle. I can remember having that on repeat pretty consistently with the Newsboys' "Shine" album. What a combo. What a time.
Ooh... I like that idea of transcribing poems that stand out to you. I've done that more with quotes that reach out and slap me in the face, but I may have to steal from you and begin writing down whole poems. I can see that being a really helpful practice for understanding how and why it is the poem works its magic. *Hat tip* Thanks for the idea.
If anyone was ever predisposed to alliteration, it seems like it would be you. And your brothers. I know for myself, after reading GMH I have to watch to make sure I'm not going off the alliterative deep end. I've appreciated how you balance it so well in your own work. Neat that you're able to see how your family's language has influenced your writing so much!
I’m having to exercise a lot of restraint now at the mention of Nsync. I was obsessed. It wasn’t until I was at a concert in 8th grade that it really sunk in that Justin Timberlake didn’t know I existed…and never would…and that I needed to tell that dream “bye bye bye.” 🤣 I literally remember de-throning my room little by little, peeling off posters of his face.
Anyway, thanks for this great conversation. Happy to share the “transcribing whole poems tip”. (I may or may not be putting some honey and cinnamon in my coffee, so thank you for that one.)
I’m back to correct myself. Dr. Seuss wrote primarily in anapest. (This is my “foot” note. 😉)
Out of curiosity I scanned some of my poetry where I wrote without any meter in mind. A lot of trochee and dactyl popped up.
🤣 Love the "foot" note. I think I almost woke my kids up laughing...
Tyler, I enjoyed reading this behind the scenes, getting to know you post. Thank you for sort of explaining what your job is, the title business analyst has always been a little amorphous to me...
One line in your post really resonated with me, about the inspiration that other poets offer, "They are guides and walking sticks, not consumables."
"They" being poets like Malcolm Guite, GM Hopkins, and the others you mentioned.
I've been writing for a very long time and first was published in the 1980s when we were raising our kids in a small town in California. I was all education articles, letters to the editor and so on.
My journey into poetry in earnest began tanks to meeting Luci Shaw in 2018 and Malcolm later on that year. In the years I have left to write, they helped me solidify my choice to focus on being more intentional in my. Inspiration comes from so many places. Your wife sounds delightful and you said she nudged you towards this writing journey, but I'm still puzzled. Did she help you with a name? I'm guessing Awaking Dragons refers to the dragon in Lord of the Ring s. Yes?
Hey Jody! Thanks so much for reading. How neat that you had the opportunity meet both Luci Shaw and Malcolm Guite! Would you say meeting them propelled you in a new direction with your words or solidified a path you were already making your way down?
Beth was definitely a sounding board when it came to naming this here newsletter. It went through a number of iterations before finally becoming what it is now. And yes, Awaking Dragons is in part a reference to Tolkien's Smaug, but is also a stand-in for all those things which are beyond us, mysterious to us, perhaps even a bit dangerous for our preconceived notions about how to live this life, but which ultimately make us more than we were before we engaged them, much as Bilbo after his journeys. If you're interested, I write a bit more about this here...
https://www.awakingdragons.com/about
...and here...
https://www.awakingdragons.com/p/behind-the-name
I hope that answers your question!
Oh yes, Tyler. To answer your first question, Malcolm provided the stamp on my a poetry visa needed to confirm my desires to pursue that path, and Luci provided the in-person inspiration and encouragement to dive in.
And thank you for the explanation on your Substack naming. I'm off to read a bit more...
“But its gift is the distancing,”
What a line. For me, distance has become an ache I have to constantly bring back to God. As an immigrant whose family and culture is elsewhere, I feel this ache of distance constantly. I try to bridge it in anyway that I can—FaceTime calls, making certain meals, looking at pictures, writing poems that talk to that ache. But to recall that the ache of distance is a gift? That’s tough!! But possible.
Thank you, Tyler, for the encouragement to readjust my lenses. 🙌🏼
Oh, great perspective, Rosa. The "distancing" I had in mind when writing this was more the stepping back: the bird's-eye view which allows us to consider our lives and not so much the actual separation. But your experience puts a spin on this I hadn't quite intended myself, and your willingness to consider how that homeward ache might turn out to be a gift encourages me to do the same. Thanks for reading and sharing that perspective!
Tyler, thanks for this glimpse into the world behind the words. My husband and I are also very competitive... which is why we don't play games together anymore! I remember being out for blood with Scrabble in our dating days. He's not a writer, but an excellent wordsmith, and it took all my skill to best him. I've just discovered the delight of Bananagrams, but I play that with the church youth group, and it's pretty cutthroat!
I think my writing began with a love of the words themselves, a girlish wish to become Jo March, and a need to process thoughts and ideas. The page is a necessary extension of my thought life!
It was silly poems that had my heart first. Lewis Caroll (Jabberwocky), Dennis Lee (Alligator Pie), AA Milne (Disobedience). Then dramatic poems--which probably had something to do with my constant rewatching of the 1980s Anne of Green Gables movies. The poems that Curdie flung at the goblins in The Princess and the Goblin always stuck with me too as a powerful image of what words could do.
Poetry became a regular part of my life again when I had kids and then started homeschooling. I got to relive the delight of those childhood poems. And we've kept on reading classic poets ever since, almost daily. But I think it was Malcolm Guite who really spurred the renaissance of poetry in my spiritual life. He introduced me to Herbert, and then it was all over.
I write to make sense of things, to seek the kingdom. And because I long to create something beautiful to offer back to God. My dream is also a book to hold in my hands. I've been working on one for a few years, but it keeps shape shifting. I look forward to yours when it makes its way to printed page!!
I can resonate with the competitiveness. I don't think I've ever been more antagonistic toward my siblings than when we were playing Risk as kids.
I love Bananagrams! Though I don't think I've ever played a game and later described it as cutthroat 😆 Sounds like a fun group to play with.
"The page is a necessary extension of my thought life!" -- hear, hear to that. Fun to hear about your own early nudgings into writing, and those poems which became the soil for others to take root in. You have me thinking it's due time I read MacDonald's Princess and Goblin books again. I've read a little of Herbert (also thanks to Guite), but not extensively. What are some of your favorite poems of his?
I've appreciated the perspective you continually offer us through Small Wonder. Excited to hold this book you've been working on in my hands when the time comes!
Have you read "The Elixir" by Herbert? That's a good one. I love "Easter" from The Temple (one day I need to write about that one). Also try "A Sonnet, to his mother as a new year's gift from Cambridge," which speaks to the nature of poetry. "Sure, Lord, there is enough in thee to dry Oceans of ink..."
Yes, I've enjoyed "The Elixir" and "Easter" thanks to Malcolm Guite's compilation of them in different volumes, but hadn't heard of the third. I think you may have picked out my favorite line, too. Thanks for pointing me to that one!
Tyler, what a treat to learn a little more about you! Thank you so much for your rich contributions to our writing community.
I seem to be the designated loser of just about every game I have played and am not at all competitive (which of those came first, I cannot say), but like you, can hardly keep myself off the dance floor. This may be unfortunate for spectators, but when there’s something worth celebrating who can rightly refrain from the dance?
So true! And well said. The dance calls.